Christmas 2006

Christmas. A very powerful time if we let it be so.

Unfortunately for me, my job requires my service on all holidays, Christmas Eve and Christmas included. Since my mother's death, we have celebrated Christmas on the Eve before. We all gather together at my brother's home where my sister-in-law prepares a traditional German dinner. An amazing roast dripping in a splendid au jous. There is sauerkraut (not a fan but is highly praised) and that which I look forward to the most, German dumplings. I'm not sure they're called German dumplings but they are awesome.

The true blessing and most memorable gift came after all the presents had been opened and the families departed. Earlier, I had asked Sandy if she would go with me to see Herman for Christmas Day. Herman is an old, old friend of my mom's who was now spending his most senior years at the National Lutheran Home in Rockville, MD. We had planned to go to the cemetery on Christmas Day, but something was drawing me to other ends. My mom was in my ear telling me that I could visit her anytime and that she was always with me. Go see someone who needed it.

Well, Sandy did me one better. This Christmas Eve she said, "Let's go see him now!"

It was already 9:00, late by some standards, but we called ahead. We were told by the nurse on duty that Herman was still awake and would be for awhile longer. While I was on the phone making plans and getting directions, Sandy had drafted another reveler in Lynn.
For those that don't know this dear sweet woman, Lynn was mom's best friend for over 40 years, friends for nearly the length of my life. Off we speed to see Herman!

On the way, my younger brother Scott calls from his hotel and soon our conspiracy is a mob. The four of us invade the Lutheran Home in the manner that would make my mom proud. I truly felt the warmth and love of my mother as we sat and visited an old man who sees too few visitors. I am doing my mother's work and I was happier now than any gift given to me ever made me feel. The joy on his face and laughter in his voice late on Christmas Eve is truly what the love of God is about.

Tears streamed down the old man's face as we said our goodbyes. I know in my heart that he would have entertained us as long as we wanted, so starved he was for company and the touch of another human soul. Christmas is truly in the giving. That night I was full. Full of the gift I had given and received in kind.

Was this night over? Not yet. As the hour grew late, Scott discovered that there was still time for one more gift. A gift to ourselves. We found ourselves racing to Gaithersburg as the time drew near to eleven. The candlelight service at GPC. We arrived and were seated with a few minutes to spare. The last time Sandy, Lynn and I were at Gaithersburg Presbyterian Church was for the funeral last year in July. So much emotion swept over me.

The music began and the Christmas Eve worship began. I don't remember much of the service except that I couldn't sing "Joy To The World", mom's favorite carol. The passages were read and the sermon given. I'm sure they were poinant and beautiful. I was away in my memory of the times at this church. Bert Moore with sermon's bursting from his mouth with a voice that couldn't contain his joy. Fran Moore, whose laugh and energy so infectious while directing me in whatever choir I happened to be in. Donald Kinloch's passion that manifested itself in a thick Scottish accent. Faye's passages and prayers for the people. My mother, grinning up and greeting everyone who passed by the office. An infectious smile that presented itself no matter what her feeling or pressure might be.

The candles are lit and "Silent Night" begins. As the song continues, the spirits of these people present themselves to me in my memory, a gift to me. My most precious gift. With my friends around me in the near dark, I stand and listen quietly, tears of joy running down my face. I do not sing. I cannot. I close my eyes as my mom, Bert, Fran and the memories of those lost gather in my memory to wish me the most blessed of Christmases. I receive them as a child receives the most precious of toys.

The music has ended and the lights return to their brightness. I stand a little longer, bidding farewell to the spirits that visited me. We depart and hugs are shared. I take Lynn home. I walk her to her door and give a final hug. Then suddenly, the spirits of our memories return in triumphant glory! We are sad and require each others strength for a bit longer.

"It's not the same," Lynn says.

"No, it's not," I say. "It's different." Our tears prevent anymore speaking as we hold each other in our arms.

"Merry Christmas Lynn," I say. I turn and Lynn closes the door. I drive back home, the peace is welcome.

Merry Christmas mom.

Coleen's Birthday

So we celebrated Coleen's introduction into her 40th year at Clyde's tonight. I forgot my camera. I promised her I'd write something since I had had my obligatory rum & cokes. Captain Morgan is still a friend of mine! With us were folks from Toby's Dinner Theatre. Russell, Janine, some other very nice people whose names Captain Morgan will not let me remember and Kyle. It was awesome seeing them all. I miss them and was very happy to hang out. Now Captain Morgan says I must go to sleep. Happy Birthday Coleen!

All I Want For Christmas...

So it seems that folks find it difficult to find gifts for me. Here might be a few suggestions.

*Sinatra: Vegas (Box Set, 4CD/1DVD) [BOX SET] [LIVE] 49.99 at Amazon.com

*Floor Lamp With Spiral Hanging Shade 59.80 at Amazon.com

*LitesNow Valo Instant Track Do-it-Yourself 3 Fixture with Shades Plug in Pendant Light Kit, Silver 59.95 at Amazon.com

* Best Buy Gift Certificates (I want to get a Sirius Radio but I don't know which)

* A nice pair of house slippers with fuzzy lining

Excellent Time

On Sunday nights, after work, some of us gather at a little piano bar in Gaithersburg. The Flaming Pit has been a favorite place of mine for many years. I am very happy when the people I take want to go back. Young or old, it's always fun. Lately I've been introducing some of the younger set from the castle. Last night was a blast!

I am more than content to sit and listen and occasionally add my voice to a sing-a-long or two. But sometimes I am called to come up and lend my voice to the microphone. I got to perform "Count Your Blessings" from the movie White Christmas. I also did "Where The Blue Of The Night" from Bing Crosby's repertoire. The picture of Blake and me has us doing a duet from The Muppet Movie, "I Hope That Something Better Comes Along".

In attendence this evening was Katie and her husband Ben. Katie is a manager in training at the castle and Ben sings with the Navy Sea Chanters. Also from the castle were Josh W., Jay, Amanda D., Jessica and even a knight (cool Josh). We were also joinrd by my friends from D.C., Ron and Michael.

The young 'uns were kind of out of their element amongst all the broadway songs but things livened up when Blake ripped into the first Christmas Carols of the season. This prompted a massive sing-a-long by everyone. With the help of my friend, Captain Morgan, a rollicking time was had by all! The more people who come, the better time we have!

Eddie Girl

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Eddie was my mom's dog. When my mom died last year, I adopted her. I didn't really have room for her as I already had Solomon and I didn't really want her. When I'd visit mom, Eddie always seemed obnoxious, I was always pushing her away. I didn't like her and she was always covering me with dog hair. But mom loved her doggies. It was one of the last things I ever heard her say, "I want to go home for the 4th (of July) and be with my doggies." Mom would die ten days later. The dogs, like me, were orphans now.

We fixed up mom's house around the dogs, Eddie and Abby. They stayed in the empty home cared for by my neice who would stop by and check the food. The walls got painted and the carpet replaced while they watched. The yard was raked and groomed and they watched. The chimney was repaired and the flooring sanded and refinished as they watched. The For Sale sign went up in the yard and decisions had to be made. The dogs could not live in their home any longer. It was time to go.

Where? Who? Would they go together or would they part? No one could take them. Then Sandy said, "I'll take Abby." There was no doubt that Abby was going to a warm, loving home. Half the problem solved. But what about obnoxious Eddie? Brother Dave had his hands full with his own zoo. Brother Scott's home was too small to add a big dog. My place is hardly big enough for Solomon and me. But home she came. I did it because I felt it was the least I could do for mom. She always took in the strays and unloved. Eddie came home with me.

She immediately tried to take over the house, be the alpha, not just over Solomon but over the humans as well. She hoarded her food and many times tried to prevent Solomon from reaching his. Whenever Solomon would want to play, she would snarl and growl and try to stop the frivolities. Mom would have been proud to see how Solomon accepted and adjusted to Eddie. He ignored her. He went about his business as usual as if nothing had changed. And after awhile, Eddie changed. She became more loving and kind. I'd come home from work and both dogs would bound up, tails wagging madly, and greet me with the warmth of love you only get from dogs. They'd follow me around until they were certain there were no treats. Sometimes there were and they never stopped hoping. Their eyes sparkled with anticipation as bags were unpacked. If there were no presents that day, their eyes wouldn't lose their lustre as the were equally happy that the human had come home.

Today, the eyes were closed. I think Eddie knew something was wrong last night. She had taken to sleeping downstairs some time ago, not coming up to bed with Solomon and me, but last night she came up. I lifted her into my bed with promises of healing tomorrow. She looked at me then curled up for sleep.

Eddie had fallen ill some weeks back. We thought we had it licked when we changed her diet. She started eating well and responding in kind when we went for our walks. But then she stopped eating. Last night I knew she wasn't well and made a vet appointment when I got up this morning.

After a brief examination, the doctor stuck a needle into Eddie's abdomin and withdrew some fluid. The vet looked at me and said it could be many things but she knew it was bad. So did I. After analyzing the fluid, she told me that Eddie's vital organs were shutting down. Her kidneys, her liver and her heart. We both knew what was to come next. I asked the doc if Eddie could hold on until Monday when I would have Sandy for support, but the vet said that she was suffering now and might not last until then. I nodded as the tears welled up. It was time.

The vet said she'd give me a moment and left to prepare the injection. I gave Eddie a big old hug and just scritched her like she always liked. More hugs and tears. The doctor came in and said it's time. I held Eddie as the injection went in. There was a moment, I think, that Eddie realized what was happening and tried to back out but then the drugs took effect. Quickly she went to sleep and the doctor said her heart has stopped.

Eddie was off to the Rainbow Bridge.

I'll miss you Eddie, for what you meant to my mother's life and for what, however briefly I had you, you came to mean to me. Run, jump, play. Be happy again.