Source Of Obesity In America

Hello Americans,

I have discovered the source of obesity in America. The evil can be found on Polito Avenue in Lyndhurst, New Jersey in a little establishment called Harold's Deli. I'm sitting back with the Captain at my side and will now tell the tale of this discovery.

My work took me to Lyndhurst, New Jersey to our sister castle there. Lyndhurst is also home to the Meadowlands Sports Complex where the current Super Bowl Champion, New York Giants reside. (Sip of Captain, and we press on.) I digress. Across the street from the Marriott, which displayed an incredible example of customer service, is Harold's Deli, a little, unassuming bistro cradled in a Day's Inn I believe. After piddling around the Jersey castle, I sought sustenance (be right back, I gotta do a spell check) (I'm back and I'm correct), I sought sustenance or for those less educated, food, I was hungry. Before I left for Jersey, I was told to check out the Deli across the street, so check it out I did. Americans, this is Jersey. The first thing I saw commanded me to take its picture. A cigarette machine! It's Jersey!

There's no smoking in the restaurant but there is a cigarette machine. As I took the picture, a customer asked my why. I said, "It's a cigarette machine! If you saw a dinosaur, you'd take its picture too!" So many customers went outside to smoke that when they came back in, they might as well had smoked in the restaurant.

Anyway, obesity.. (if I may, I've run out of the Captain and now have an interesting Bacardi in hand... Bacardi Key Lime Rum. At this time I can endorse it. I wager that it would be very nice with a Diet Coke with Lime. Typing getting difficult. How's the spelling so far?) Any way, obesity. I perused the menu for the sandwiches (aren't deli's supposed to be great for sandwiches?). I was greeted by Ruebens and turkey and Roast Beef and all the lovely meets that make a good sandwich. I also froze in fear at the price. These sandwiches were 30 bucks! Unf***ing believable! But then I saw why. One sandwich could feed the entire African nation, Sally Struthers included! Fortunately for me, there was a smaller menu with less of a selection. I chose a nice Roast Beef sandwich for about 8 bucks. It came with the all-you-can-eat pickle bar. Being a fan of pickles, I indulged. Then came dessert.

Whilst at a New York Deli, you try the cheesecake, right? So I did. Tasty big mistake!

This monstrous construction topped with blueberries was magnificent! It took me 2 days to eat half of it. I ate what I could at Harold's and took the rest back to the hotel with me. I had more for dessert the next day in my room and threw a good half of it away when I checked out the next day. Maybe the maid enjoyed it, I don't know. It was awesome and big. When I commented about its size, the bartender begged me visit the dessert thingy that held more monstrosities. Seek the pictures below.

The first picture is of a five layer chocolate thing of death. The second was almost something I ordered instead of the cheesecake. I love eclairs. Truly I do. And I almost ordered the eclair on the menu. I have mixed feelings about not ordering it. Glad I didn't, sad I didn't. Look at the thing! It's about 2 feet long. Look at it in comparison with the oversized cookies above it. Americans I have found obesity and its name is Harolds!

To sum up, I had lost 10 pounds on my diet competition with brother Scott. Four of those pounds found their way back in my week in Jersey. Fortunately I start my raquetball regimen with a 20 year old knight in training. Sweat will ensue, I'm sure.

New York City!

I'm in New York for the second time this year! My first trip was with Kristi and that was for fun. This time it was for work. I went to help the Jersey castle open the new show. The best part of the visit was the 15 minute bus ride to the city. There was a bus stop right outside the Marriott where I stayed for 4 days. More on the hotel later, for now let's look at the pictures!

Here we see the very colorful Mary Poppins and Young Frankenstein marquis. (What is the plural for marquis?) They wer enormous and very bright. I'm really happy at how well they came out. Click on them to make them bigger! Next pics... DINNER!

I had dinner at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone Restaurant. It's an upscale restaurant with scantily
clad Hawaiian Tropic models as the servers. This is me with my server. I forget her name but she was Number 9 in the pageant. (She didn't win.) The picture was taken by this French guy who was there with his family. They were very interested in my food. What did I order...?

I started with the Calamari and a Captain Morgan and diet. The drink was spectacular and the calamari so-so. Nothing still beats the calamari in Frederick. Then came the New York Strip with Asiago fries. I also had a glass of the recommended red wine. The steak was a little chewy but the fries were cool. I forget what that yellow sauce is. Next came dessert. There was a dessert menu that came with one of those Viewmaster View Finders for the pictures. I chose the Cheesecake Lollipop Tree and a Blueberry Mojito. The cheesecake was really good and the presentation was creative. It came with a side of Bubblegum Whipped Cream. I tried it and it tasted exactly like Bazooka Joe! Disgusting!

The French family was so transfixed by the Cheesecake Tree that I offered them some. The papa gladly took one and proceeded to double dip in the whipped cream! Good thing I didn't like it anyway. Next, the bill...

The check came to $108.54... It's a fun place to visit but I wouldn't want to eat there! Definately not worth the price. Go for drinks but not the food.

Go to http://flickr.com/photos/15214131@N02/sets/72157604102851595/ to see all the pictures from my trip!

March 9th

It is now March 9th. I waited up for midnight to come around so I would be awake on this day.

I used to call my mom every day. When I would get in the car and drive to work, I would always call her. And she would always listen. She had a teriffic knack for listening too. She always made you feel like everything you said was important. She made you feel special. I still hear her voice, "I'm so proud of you honey." It didn't matter what the spectacular deed was. For all she cared, I called to tell her that I had an incredible bowel movement today. She always told me she was proud.

I miss those daily calls. When I drive to work now, there is a void. She was always home and always answered the phone. If the day was crappy, I could feel her wishing to take it away. "I'm so sorry, honey. It'll get better." And it always did.

I would call from the various places that I would visit. While I was walking down Broadway in New York this week, I just stopped on the sidewalk and looked around. Mentally I was on the phone telling my mom everything I saw. And she would be so excited for me.

I miss you so much mom. Happy Birthday. I love you.